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Do you THINK you had oil in the bike before you let it sit or did you definitely have the proper amount of oil in the bike? That's a big difference when it comes to brainstorming, ya know what I mean?
To rule out the possibility of memory error, just change the oil. It's all of $10 and you'll know, going forward, that there is oil in the bike and that it's at the proper level. After you change the oil, clean the engine and fins and underside of the bike. This will allow you the opportunity to check for any leaks that might be there.
The bolts that people recommend torquing aren't just the exhaust bolts. Those are usually tweaked when people have an exhaust leak. The head bolts are what get snugged down when you're seeing more oil on the cooling fins. You remove the tank to access these, IIRC. Torque specs are in the service manuals.
But, to get to the real root of the problem, it's the battery. We don't have a complicated electrical system on these things. If your battery is dropping off its charge after just a few minutes, that simply means it's not keeping it. Even if you turned on your blinkers, held in the brake, and put the headlight on bright, the bike simply doesn't use that much juice.
Take the battery off the bike, drive over to Autozone or your other favorite autoparts store, and they will test the battery for free. I can almost bet money that it's bad. And even if this isn't the biggest Gremlin, it needs to be done.
The bike has been sitting for a long time, so even if every system was healthy, it's going to take some caressing in order to get it to start.
Is your gas fresh?
Have you pulled the plug just to give it a good little cleaning (replacing is only like $5)
Aired up the tires? ("Why? I want to it to crank" - just do it.)
Don't overlook the basic stuff too. You're not trying to start it with the kick stand down are you?
You can do this. You don't need to take it to a shop. We are all here for you.
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