As Time Goes By

Fawlty · 02-17-2014, 03:43 PM

An older couple were lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

blaine · 02-17-2014, 04:03 PM

Fawlty · 02-19-2014, 06:17 AM

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds
Her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in
My hand can have sex with me tonight!"

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

alantf · 02-19-2014, 10:35 AM

Later that night she ran, naked, through the rec room. As she sped past, one old guy said "Who was that?" "Bessie", replied his friend". "Ah" said the first guy, "but whatever she was wearing needed ironing"

Water Warrior 2 · 02-19-2014, 07:15 PM

Only us old folks can really appreciate the humor here.

Fawlty · 02-20-2014, 10:28 AM

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard
on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the freeway. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

02-17-2014, 03:43 PM	#1
Fawlty Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Murcia, Spain Posts: 683	As Time Goes By An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!" __________________ "It begins here for me on this road. How the whole mess happened I don't know, but I know it couldn't happen again in a million years." (Johnny Strabbler-The Wild One 1953) Login or Register to Remove Ads
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02-17-2014, 04:03 PM	#2
blaine Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: P.E.I. Canada Posts: 3,784	__________________ If at first you do succeed, try not to look surprised.
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02-19-2014, 06:17 AM	#3
Fawlty Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Murcia, Spain Posts: 683	80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds Her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in My hand can have sex with me tonight!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough." __________________ "It begins here for me on this road. How the whole mess happened I don't know, but I know it couldn't happen again in a million years." (Johnny Strabbler-The Wild One 1953) Login or Register to Remove Ads
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02-19-2014, 10:35 AM	#4
alantf Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Tenerife (Spain) Posts: 3,715	Later that night she ran, naked, through the rec room. As she sped past, one old guy said "Who was that?" "Bessie", replied his friend". "Ah" said the first guy, "but whatever she was wearing needed ironing" __________________ By birth an Englishman, by the grace of God a Yorkshireman.
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02-19-2014, 07:15 PM	#5
Water Warrior 2 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Squamish B.C Canada Posts: 11,409	Only us old folks can really appreciate the humor here. Login or Register to Remove Ads
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02-20-2014, 10:28 AM	#6
Fawlty Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Murcia, Spain Posts: 683	As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the freeway. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!" __________________ "It begins here for me on this road. How the whole mess happened I don't know, but I know it couldn't happen again in a million years." (Johnny Strabbler-The Wild One 1953)
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