THE WIFE.

blaine · 04-02-2011, 11:46 PM

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

(I love this part)

'Only when he's been drinking.!!'
:tongue:

Water Warrior 2 · 04-03-2011, 01:09 AM

The poor soul must have married my first wife.

mrlmd1 · 04-03-2011, 09:57 AM

Blaine has taken over as Humor Poster of the Day on this forum and I want to nominate him for that position.

:roll: :biggrin: :2tup:

Water Warrior 2 · 04-03-2011, 02:18 PM

Good idea. I 2nd the motion.

BillInGA · 04-03-2011, 06:32 PM

All in favor, say AYE.

AYE!

Water Warrior 2 · 04-03-2011, 07:47 PM

AYE !

mrlmd1 · 04-04-2011, 08:51 AM

3 votes, sounds like enough to me. Then it's a done deal. :rawk: :2tup:

Viirin · 04-04-2011, 01:17 PM

belated aye

BillInGA · 04-04-2011, 09:13 PM

All opposed?

Hearing none, the motion passes.

It's official - blaine is now the daily humor poster. Congratulations!

blaine · 04-04-2011, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillInGA

All opposed?

Hearing none, the motion passes.

It's official - blaine is now the daily humor poster. Congratulations!

I humbly accept! :biggrin: :tongue:

04-02-2011, 11:46 PM	#1
blaine Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: P.E.I. Canada Posts: 3,784	THE WIFE. A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. ' Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?' The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.' As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.' The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.' The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.' And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??' The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?' (I love this part) 'Only when he's been drinking.!!' :tongue: __________________ If at first you do succeed, try not to look surprised. Login or Register to Remove Ads
	0

04-03-2011, 01:09 AM	#2
Water Warrior 2 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Squamish B.C Canada Posts: 11,409	Re: THE WIFE. The poor soul must have married my first wife.
	0

04-03-2011, 09:57 AM	#3
mrlmd1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Crawfordville, Florida Posts: 2,853	Re: THE WIFE. Blaine has taken over as Humor Poster of the Day on this forum and I want to nominate him for that position. :roll: :biggrin: :2tup: Login or Register to Remove Ads
	0

04-03-2011, 02:18 PM	#4
Water Warrior 2 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Squamish B.C Canada Posts: 11,409	Re: THE WIFE. Good idea. I 2nd the motion.
	0

04-03-2011, 06:32 PM	#5
BillInGA Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Kennesaw, GA Posts: 296	Re: THE WIFE. All in favor, say AYE. AYE! __________________ ATGATT - All The Gear, All The Time Login or Register to Remove Ads
	0

04-03-2011, 07:47 PM	#6
Water Warrior 2 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Squamish B.C Canada Posts: 11,409	Re: THE WIFE. AYE !
	0

04-04-2011, 08:51 AM	#7
mrlmd1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Crawfordville, Florida Posts: 2,853	Re: THE WIFE. 3 votes, sounds like enough to me. Then it's a done deal. :rawk: :2tup:
	0

04-04-2011, 01:17 PM	#8
Viirin Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 269	Re: THE WIFE. belated aye
	0

04-04-2011, 09:13 PM	#9
BillInGA Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Kennesaw, GA Posts: 296	Re: THE WIFE. All opposed? Hearing none, the motion passes. It's official - blaine is now the daily humor poster. Congratulations! __________________ ATGATT - All The Gear, All The Time
	0